Thursday, 20 August 2015

It never rains but it pours... When reality hits!!!

And reality hit at the most random of times. After having another fight with my ex boyfriend.

On again, Off again. Further proving that we were not meant for each other. Reality Hit.

Reality hit so hard that it left me feeling numb and lifeless. I felt like a zombie, just a body without a soul.

Reality greedily snatched all of my emotions and left me feeling empty.

I smoked a cigarrette and it calmed me down but as I took the last drag the calm left like the disappearing smoke before me... With a deepening depression I realized that the cigarrette gave me a temporary emotion... A borrowed one.

I realized the world that we live in is built on temporary emotions. The "right now" emotions. The "what feels good is good" emotions. But they are not real.

Revelations started to unveil as I thought of the last time I felt something real. Real emotions. Emotions that don't need enhancers. Emotions that you can feel at 3am in the morning when you wake up suddenly.

Emotions that brought over-whelming emotions, that my silly, greedy and weak humanity could not handle and started running away from.

I'm exhausted from running. God I'm done fighting.

-Tina Tshangela 

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