Cosmiss: BANK

Cosmiss

Tinder Conversations

I told him I went to a concert Friday night and he replied "I went to a concert too Friday night". My heart jumped as my fingers typed "Little Dragon?" And "Yes" was all he ever said.

Little Dragon Cape Town Concert

First of all, I am exhausted. Can you imagine dancing for five hours straight? Can you? It was a fucking epic MOVIE!!! Secondly I had no idea South Africa had such amazing music, The two opening acts killed it and to think I had no idea these people existed before last night makes me feel like I've been oblivious to how awesome this country actually is.

90% of me was having a blast but the other 10% was spent wondering where the hell is Yukimi and the band but when they finally came out, it was totally worth the wait. That is when the movie began.... Ahhhhhhh....... I've been to a lot of concerts..... Rihanna, Maxwell, John Legend, Pharrell but watching Little Dragon live took me to a whole nother level of musical artistry. The lights, sound, vocals, dances and that BASS..... That fucking BASS!!!! Felt like my heart was being ripped from my chest, it was awesome!!!

They performed my all-time fave of theirs "CONSTANT SURPRISES" and I died. Yukimi is a beast on stage and to think that she is pregnant and killing it like that is just mind blowing..... Serious life goals here. The energy was amazing, every move she made, the crowd would follow simultaneously and being there with the cutest bestest friend anyone could ask for (Ulfah 🐣) took the levels of epicness even higher. What a night, What a movie, What an experience!!!

This Is For You.

Dear friend 

I know you will never admit this but I know you love me. You always have but I'm selfish. I know you'll never fall out of love with me and yet I want you around because I don't want to be alone. I could date you because I know you could take care of me in every way. You are my best friend so I know I wouldn't be bored and I know I could grow to love you but it wouldn't be the real kinda love you know. I would lie to myself and say "I'm happy, he loves me and that's all I've ever wanted" but that would be selfish to you and well to...

-Me.

FIRST SIGHT

So she walks up the same street she has been taking since the beginning of the year with her best friend Leon. She tells Leon a joke and laughs out loud and clearly Leon gave her one of those sympathetic laughs, not getting the joke. He gets the joke and doesn’t get why her best friend is not cracking up. He feels bad and wonders should he not go over to her and assure her that she is funny. His low on courage, he wonders if she turned around would she find his gaze charming or get weird stalker vibes. 

She sees a dark shadow behind her it is attached to an awkward face that looks away from her eyes. She smiles to herself as Leon’s words become a blur. She thinks what if that guy is stalking me? that would be nice. Unless if his a serial killer and loves all his victims so much that he saves them by slicing them up open, shit stop it that sounds horrible. You are evil, but it would make him interesting, sort of. 

She crosses slightly hoping his still following but because she’s scared to get run over, she stays focussed. Knowing she’s safe, she turns around and their eyes meet. Slowly she enjoys the thought of being stalked by this mysterious boy. Leon asks why is she smiling? she tells Leon about the joy of the thought of being stalked by that guy. Leon simply replies you’re crazy. 

His heart stops when their eyes lock, he panics she’s gonna go to class and I’ll never see her again. Leon hurries up the pace and as she turns her head the mysterious boy is not there, what if he gave up she thinks. I need a plan, oh yes, thank you mind. Cigarettes!!! “Leon can I smoke quickly before class?” Leon agrees but internally disagrees with her addiction. She chants please come. 

He speeds up knowing she’s not there but also knowing he can’t just turn around. She tries to act normal while cursing her imaginative brain. She lights her cigarette and looks up and there he is. She smiles as their eyes meet, he looks confused. He is panicking, what’s going to be my opening line shit, work brain, work. Fuck I’m here, she’s looking at me, probably thinks I’m a stalker. I open my mouth “can we share?” she looks confused and I point to the cigarette. She hands it over I smoke. 

Oh wow this is a good sign, don’t mess it up. Ahhhh he looks so perfect and cool and pale. Shit I’m staring, that’s not keeping it cool girl, shit you blew it. Shit I’m finishing her cigarettes, give it back asshole. I give it to her, she places her fingers on top of mine and they stay there. I can feel a calming heat all over my body, it’s amazing. I want to move my hand but I can’t. Why is he looking at it and why is he so perfect. Oh shit my nails look horrible. Look at me. 

I’m scared of this, if I look at her, I’ve lost all power and what scares me the most is that I want to. Finally I look and I can see myself giving up everything for her. She is everything. 

Oh my God, he is everything. 

I’m scared to end this moment, no this cant end. Uhhhhmmm “so I’m gonna give you my number. If you want it, I mean” her voice is amazing, oh shit where’s mine. Uhhhhhm uhhhhm, “yes, please. I’d love…. I’d like to have your number”. I have to draw my eyes away from his but I hope it doesn’t offend him.

I write my number down and realize Leon is still there, shit class. I don’t want to go. 

She just gave you the key, for everything. 

No she can’t leave now, stop it she probably has a class.

I try to act cool while examining his face, “I have to go” he touches my hand. 

I plead for this moment to last longer but utter “talk soon”.